Westside Family Chooses Public School for Child
A Westside family that by all accounts could afford private school has chosen their local public school without even applying to private institutions. "We'd like our kids to grow up in an environment of diverse cutural influences and not just rich white people," said Harvey Kliner of Brentwood, CA, "It's not that we have anything against private schools, it just wasn't right for us." The reaction from the community was immediate, with several local women organizing a late night egging of Mr. Kliner's vehicle and front stoop. "I waited in line at the post office for six hours to be the first to get our child's application into the mail," said one outraged community member who asked not to be named as she was sporting last year's handbag and feared retribution if identified. Another passerby confronted with the news, Ms. TJ Carney said, "From the moment I was pregnant, I've been sucking up to people that might exert influence on our application for pre-k admission and these people just come right along and denigrate the whole process. I think they should go back to where they came from." When told that in fact the Kilner's came from the Valley, Ms. Carney responded "Exactly."

Westside Women Overheard Speaking Nicely of Third Party

Brentwood, CA
Unconfirmed reports indicate that that two lunching ladies on the Westide of LA casually mentioned a third woman from their social circles in a non-disparaging manner. The comment, reportedly something like: "I ran into Janice yesterday coming out of Pilates and she looked good", comes at a time when the entire Westside community of idle women had generally agreed to maintain consistency in daily interchanges of gossip and negative aspersions.

Danielle LaRose, a well known Westide Mom/Shopper/Charity Benefit Attendee, commented: "It is important to not deviate from the principles upon which this enclave was founded. If one person starts to play holier-than-thou everyone will walk on eggshells. We need to feel free to be ourselves, and that means free to say hurtful things about anyone who isn't present at the time. My friends are loyal and wouldn't stoop to such behaviour. For instance, I happen to know for a fact that Elise Manchester, who is meeting me for lunch today, and who God-knows needed that liposuction treatment she denies having, and who I hear is sleeping with her pool man, would never think of violating these rules."

Local Psychotherapist Myron Kanter offered his analysis. "Without the daily outlet of venom that these women rely upon to feel better about themselves, there could be a dangerous uptake in botox usage and/or affairs with the household help," he said, "The Westside norms developed for a reason, and the delicate ecosystem needs to be preserved or a domino effect of damage could result."