Westside Women Overheard Speaking Nicely of Third Party

Brentwood, CA
Unconfirmed reports indicate that that two lunching ladies on the Westide of LA casually mentioned a third woman from their social circles in a non-disparaging manner. The comment, reportedly something like: "I ran into Janice yesterday coming out of Pilates and she looked good", comes at a time when the entire Westside community of idle women had generally agreed to maintain consistency in daily interchanges of gossip and negative aspersions.

Danielle LaRose, a well known Westide Mom/Shopper/Charity Benefit Attendee, commented: "It is important to not deviate from the principles upon which this enclave was founded. If one person starts to play holier-than-thou everyone will walk on eggshells. We need to feel free to be ourselves, and that means free to say hurtful things about anyone who isn't present at the time. My friends are loyal and wouldn't stoop to such behaviour. For instance, I happen to know for a fact that Elise Manchester, who is meeting me for lunch today, and who God-knows needed that liposuction treatment she denies having, and who I hear is sleeping with her pool man, would never think of violating these rules."

Local Psychotherapist Myron Kanter offered his analysis. "Without the daily outlet of venom that these women rely upon to feel better about themselves, there could be a dangerous uptake in botox usage and/or affairs with the household help," he said, "The Westside norms developed for a reason, and the delicate ecosystem needs to be preserved or a domino effect of damage could result."